Ms. No Single Mama Drama’s Blog

Single parenthood isn’t something that comes highly recommended. In fact, I wouldn’t recommended it for most people.

And, throw in single parenthood adoption and most might think that it is an invitation to drama. And, you would be right–partly, that is. The other part would be dead wrong.

So, why am I –as a single mother–considering “inviting” drama into my life. Well, the answer is really simple and really complex. First, I absolutely love being a mother–there is no greater reward than loving a child –through good and bad times–and being loved back unconditionally. Second, I’m not ready to give up my title as mother. Though I can’t physically have any more children, my biological clock is a tickin’, if you know what I mean. Third, motherhood gives me a sense of purpose that I can’t get from a job or a relationship with a mate. Fourth, I love children and want more; in fact, I’ve always wanted to have six (6) kids or more. Fifth, I feel that I’m at a point in my life that I can give a child, especially a child with special needs, (that is, one that has been abused by their biological parent(s) and, as a consequence, has severe emotional and behaviorial issues) love, comapassion and a safe and secure home.

So, this week, I initiated the process and expressed interest in three children: two siblings and another non-related child. Today, I received a referral and some other related information on the process, which can take 4-6 months, just to become approved.

I’m not naive to child abuse or emotional and physical behavioral problems. I’ve dealt one-on-one with children with severe emotional trauma–so I’m not scared of the challenge. I’ve seen a few of these children–with love and attention–develop into productive people, and I was glad that I was a part of their lives when they needed me. Additionally, I was a troubled child with emotional issues that developed into a productive person, so I know what the right love and attention can do to someone’s life.

I’m not sure what the future will hold–but I know that I am doing the right thing.

And, my fifteen-year-old son is excited about possibly expanding our family.

If you are a single parent that has adopted a child/ren or know someone that has, please feel free to share your/their experiences.

Peace, love and blessings,
Ms. No Single Mama Drama

Are you single mother new to Atlanta with no friends or family and NO THANKSGIVING PLANS?

As a single mother, who was in the same situation five years ago, I know how you feel. In my case, my son and I ended up homeless–in a new city with no friends or family, just angels! Recently, God blessed me with a home (yes, it’s possible to go from homelessness to homeownership in five years! with God’s help, of course), and I would like to share my new home with 10 single mothers and their children for Thanksgiving.

Warning: I don’t have much, but what I do have I’m willing to share with you. That means, I only have two couches, so most will have to sit on the floor. I don’t have any dining/kitchen tables or chairs, so again, you have to not mind sitting on the floor. Also, because I’m a single mother on limited budget (sound familiar), I am asking you to bring store-bought side dishes (to ensure health and safety), drinks or paper plates and utensils. I have a list of what is needed.

You’re welcome to bring movies and/or games for the kids to play. You’re also welcome to bring your own chairs (lol).

If interested, e-mail me back (with a one-paragraph description of your story), and I’ll register you for the Thanksgiving dinner. Sorry, my house is not big, so I can only accommodate 10 single mothers and their kids.

DONATIONS: For those interested in donating food, chairs, games and/or time for this event, please e-mail me. Thank you in advance!

Can’t wait to meet you!

Ms. No Single Mama Drama
And remember, as always, keep it moving and keep it drama free!

Study Shows Cohabiting Bad for Kids

In the May 2007 issue of Child Trends (Research Brief), an article titled, The Relationship Context of Births Outside of Marriage: The Rise of Cohabitation, states that over the past 30 years, child births outside of marriage have risen to 37 percent in 2005, compared with 22 percent in 1985. Additionally, the non-marital birth rate has increased from 32.8 in 1985 to 47.6 in 2005. While the changes have been seen in all age groups, younger women outpace their older counterparts.

The reason? People are choosing cohabitation over marriage at alarming rates.

But, one of the most interesting findings of the study is that cohabitating, often seen as a “step in the right direction,” can actually do as much harm to children in cohabitating households as to children headed by single mother households. Children in cohabitating relationships (versus those in married households) are more likely to:

1) Be poor

2) Have inadequate access to food & health care

3) Have literacy issues

4) Have disciplinary problems

Interestingly, these are the same issues faced by children of single-mother households but to a lesser degree.

So what’s the benefit?

Ms. No Single Mama Drama Mouths Off on the Subject.

Peace, love and blessings and, of course, keep it drama free.

Ms. No Single Mama Drama
Got questions? Ask Me!

Well, I’m finally doing what I’ve been thinking about for years: writing about my adventures as a single mama - and, boy, did I have some!

Because I’ve been through every SINGLE MAMA DRAMA scenario that you can think of…from being no-pot-to-potty-in broke, to (unknowingly and unwillingly) becoming a star player in a “War of the Roses” type of real-life drama, I believe I have a God-given obligation to use my life’s experiences - whether good, bad or horrible - to help other single mothers live drama-free lives.

Some of the things I’ve been through will make you cry (heart-wrenching confessionals). Some will make you laugh (these are so downright funny, they’re unbelievable). Some will make you wonder what the heck I was thinking (did I miss the common sense bus that day?) And, some are so unfair (you’ll be mad for me). But with every life experience, I learned a lot about people, life and, most of all, myself and how to live a drama-free life!

But this blog is not just about me - it’s about you, too and, more importantly, about our children and how we, as their primary caregivers, have a responsibility to improve their quality of life by eliminating the SINGLE MAMA DRAMA!

So, c’mon already, your drama-free life is waiting for you…right around the corner.