Relationship Drama: 5 Ways to Get Over Your Ex

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Relationship Drama: 5 Ways to Get Over Your Ex?

Got dumped? Can’t get over it? You’re not alone.  Rejection never feels good, but, as they say, every cloud has a silver lining: If the relationship wasn’t healthy or going anywhere, then chances are the breakup is a blessing in disguise–even if the breakup wasn’t your idea.  Even though you didn’t want the breakup, you may know, underneath the pain of rejection, that breaking up is the best thing for the both of you. Either way, here are some effective tips for getting over the relationship fast:

#1) The Relationship is Over–Accept It and Move On.
Initially, you may be angry, hurt and disappointed that the relationship wasn’t successful.  Your feelings are normal and expected. Therefore, experience those feelings authentically: cry, shout and pout, if you have to–but only for a little while. You are entitled.

What Not To Do:
Don’t play desperate and start begging your ex to get back together.  If someone says they don’t love you anymore; they need more space; or, they aren’t ready for a committed relationship, believe them. Don’t be desperate Dorine, calling his house 50 billion times, blowing him up with text messages, and “conveniently” showing up and his favorite spots. Desperate (and drama) is so not the new sexy. As bad as you may feel, these post-breakup feelings are temporary. Accept the breakup and move on with your life.

#2) Give Yourself Space and Time to Grieve
Depending on how long and close the relationship was, it can feel like your best friend or relative died.  You need to understand that getting over any relationship of significance, especially if it’s your child(ren)’s father, is going to take some time. Give yourself a specific amount of time to go through the first stage of relationship grief, denial and pain, which usually takes 1-2 weeks, but could take longer depending on the relationship. Then, after you’ve given yourself time to grieve, get back to you.

What Not Do:
Don’t hang on to your grief for too long. Don’t hang onto the relationship, either. Keep the memories, but remove all mementos that take you back to the relationship and stir up the hurt again. Give them up, get them out or give them away…but get it done already. Holding on to stuff he gave you will only keep you from moving forward.

Desperate (and drama) is so not the new sexy.

#3) Forgive Him, Forgive Yourself and Forget the Hurt
After a breakup, you will be angry and hurt; however, after you have gone through the relationship grieving process, you need to forgive your ex and yourself for your mistakes in the relationship. A breakup is never just one person’s fault, even if only one person wanted the breakup. It takes two to make a relationship happy, just like it takes two to break it up. Be accountable for your part in it, forgive yourself (and your ex) and keep it moving.

What Not To Do:
Do not become Angry Angie by holding onto the pain that you become resentful, hostile, bitter and a man-hater.  And do not hold all men accountable for what one man did.  Do not plot revenge against your ex and his new flame–all that says is that you are a mental case and justifies his reason for ending the relationship in the first place. So keep your fantasies about cutting up and bleaching his clothes and slashing his tires in fantasyland where they belong. Acting out might feel good at the moment but will hurt you (not just him) in the future.

#4) Get Up, Get Out and Get a New Life Already!
After a fresh breakup, it’s easy to sink into a funk or mini depression, but don’t.  The best thing to do is to get up out of the bed, get out of the house and get back to your pre-relationship life, whatever that was.  The busier you are, the less you will think about your ex and the reasons the relationship went wrong.

What Not To Do:
What’s love got to do with it? Nothing right now!! Do not sit in the house watching relationship comedies, listening to “our (love) songs” and looking at pictures of the two of you in happier times. Do not give your ex one more second of your life or time–after all, the relationship ended on his terms, so why are you continuing to hold on to an emotional connection? Keeping yourself emotionally connected to someone who caused you pain is unhealthy and gives your ex too much power. Take control, get emotionally balanced and keep it moving. You’ll be glad you did.

#5) Go Out With the Girls
Since you’ve been in a relationship, chances are you haven’t been spending quality time with the girls–you were too busy hanging with your boo, right? Well, now that boo is out the picture, you have time to rediscover your gal pals.  Use the time to get reconnected and learn about what’s going on in their lives and careers.  It just might be the pick-me-up that you need.

What Not To Do:
Because the breakup is fresh, you might still be in a hurting place.  Don’t spoil the time with your friends by sulking or talking about how you were hurt or how hard it’s been trying to get over it.  Don’t turn this into a man-bashing session, either. Try to stay away from relationship issues altogether and, if one of your friends is insensitive enough to bring the topic up, handle it like a trooper and keep it moving.  And, if one of your friends just started a new relationship or her relationship is going to the next level, don’t throw salt in her game.  Be a friend and be happy for her. No one likes a hater, even if it’s understandable.

Now that you have some tips on how to get over your ex (especially that baby daddy of yours:-), get out there and enjoy your life.  Life is short, live it up!

Recommended reading:
Here are some excellent relationship books.  If you haven’t read them, please do.  There’s nothing like gaining additional insight into what healthy relationships looks like, so when you get another chance at love, you’ll have more than a fighting chance!

Excerpts are available (usually the first chapter) for all the books listed below by clicking the link:

How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Day: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting on With Your Life (Howard Bronson) $10.15

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate (Gary Chapman) $8.95

His Needs Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage (Willard F. Harley) $13.59

 

9 thoughts on “Relationship Drama: 5 Ways to Get Over Your Ex

  1. Have you ever considered writing an ebook or guest authoring on other sites?
    I have a blog based on the same subjects you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information.
    I know my readers would value your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e-mail.

  2. Many relations have some problems and they break with misunderstanding,Its difficult to manage the relationship after the breakup, your five ways can be helpful to get relief from depressions problems.Thanks for sharing this impressive posts.

  3. It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy.
    I’ve read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read even more things about it!

  4. Some husbands really need to be careful of other woman outside their marriage,this was a true life story that happened to me to my own notice my sister took my husband from me the husband whom i have love so much and promise me that no woman will take him from me but all of a sudden things turned apart if not for my friend hear in USA that told me i needed a spell caster that can cast a spell to separate them maybe by now he must have went for a divorce which could have made me commit suicide because i loved him so much likewise like him also but how things turn around was a thing that surprised me.
    I vowed that any thing it could cost me i must separate him and my elder sister i then collected the contact of this spell caster from my friend Mary she told me his name is spiritual Priest Ajigar and his email is priestajigarspells@live.com i contacted him and narrated the whole story to him he consulted and found out that my sister visited a spell caster that casted a spell that made him love her i then ask him what to do he told me that this spell needed to be broken so that my husband can leave her alone and come back to me the spell was broken and within three days he began to hate her that he even beat her up before he said to her that it is over between him and her right now my husband is with me again and care for me like he have never done before i thank my friend Mary but i own all thanks to priest Ajigar for bringing back my husband and i their for advice that if you notice any strange behavior in your marriage or your boy friend or girlfriend is cheating you contact Priest Ajigar to know the root of it he will surely help you out and give an everlasting solution that will make you happy.

  5. After being in relationship with him for 3 years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the other ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is dr. oputelspellcaster@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem.

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